Russell Martin Beard Appreciation Post

So the other day, I decided to catalog and sort all the photos I've collected of the Jays this year, as sort of an off-season project.
And I realized one thing.

Russell Martin's beard is glorious.

Now, I know there are a collection of great beards on this team. Bautista wouldn't look like himself without a beard (neither would mini-Bautista).

R.A. Dickey's is authoritative and tidy, like a teacher's.  

Buehrle's, duh. 

Pillar grew one this year that gradually became more Amish-like as the season wore on.

Devon Travis had one that I like to consider the baby version of Russell's.

Josh Donaldson's popped in and out of existence, and much like his hair, took on many shapes.

At times, Drew Hutchison's was so high-definition that I believed he'd drawn the damn thing on with a marker.

Various other guys (Colabello, Estrada, Price, Smoak... the list goes on) also experimented with the scruffy look.

But Russell's is on a whole other level.

I mean just look at it!!

That is some Grade-A level bearding going on right there.

There may be beards out there that are longer, wilder, and more physics-defying (looking at you, Dallas Keuchel), but his is just so... nice!

I mean it helps that the rest of his face is nice, too. What with the twinkly eyes and the joyful smile.

(And no, I don't know what he's doing with that bat)

But without his beard, he wouldn't be the same Russell we've come to know and love. 

The 'stache on its own just doesn't cut it. 

The beard is one of his best features.

It's so very versatile. Even when it's dripping in champagne, it retains its shape.

Give him a porkpie hat, and he's Hipster Russell! 

Give him a vest and tie, and he could be a lawyer, or an English professor. Or Prime Minister!

RM for PM. I'd trust this face to run my country and not be evil about it. 

Obviously the beard looks best when Russell's happy (as we all do)

Tra la laaa, skipping down the street...

But even when he's sad, it's still on point. 

Same with when he's puffing on a cigar.

Sucks to be Yankees fans (for many reasons) but mostly because they never got to enjoy the majesty of the beard when he played for them. 

*So majestic*

Whether he's sitting alone in the dark, 

 Pretending to be shortstop for a day,

 Or channeling his inner Spider-Man, his beard is right there with him.

(I mean, where else would it be, it's in a beard's nature to go everywhere with its owner...)

It can bring us to tears with its beauty.

(Don't be fooled, he's only PARTLY crying about his dad playing O Canada)

It makes the good times just that much better.

And helps him look just that much more intimidating when he wants to.

Why so serious? 

But we all know there's nothing to be scared of, because deep down he's nothing but a big fuzzy teddy bear.  (See what I did there? Fuzzy? Cos of the beard?) 

It even looks good devoid of colour. 

"Congrats on the great beard, man" - Kevin Pillar, probably

This bat wanted to get up close and personal. And really, who can blame it? 

It is the most magnificent beard to have ever bearded. 

 This is my favourite Russell Martin photo of all time. 

Thank you god, for giving us this beard (and the man attached to it).

And that's coming from a girl who doesn't even normally like facial hair. This beard is that special.

(Crying & praying GIFs created by Tumblr user ATEDaryl)